A lot can really happen in 4.6 years.
I left the UK with the heaviest heart, leaving behind what I had identified as true joy and belonging, to many confusions and frustrations. Sometimes, it feels like I’ve never left – and all of whom I thought I’ve grown into, in my years there, disintegrated as I set foot in my home country once more.
Suddenly, difficult choices had to be made. As I considered feelings and comfort and well-being of others over my own, I slowly began to lose track of myself. Then, the people whom I’ve lived for passed on one by one, and I wondered what it was all for.
Until now, I still have moments where I feel lost and lonely and scared – perhaps, this is something that everyone will have to live with. My life so far has been quite a roller-coaster of a ride, as it should be. I’ve lost a lot, but I’ve gained many happy moments regardless.
I haven’t been very good at proactively doing things that make me happy – and documenting it. But tonight, I feel inclined to try again.
It’s good to be back in My Happy Place.